Advices From An Old Farmer

1229870_354281118039009_927230848_nAdvices from An Old Farmer:

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.

Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.995476_521361841264200_576499060_n

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

1044647_660552653959742_555156727_nThe best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.998673_477380685680642_1543873114_n

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..

1002430_660153693999638_1963832877_nLive simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.

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T25 – Day 2

1425737_10152137944418185_1660580529_nYesterday I started my first official day of T-25  (well actually I tried my day 1 Saturday when it arrived in the mail just because, but my official start was today.) Ouch! My calves hurt like hell … walking hurts, I think I walked better after my first half marathon … its a close call … but working out on your toes plays hell on your calves … Anyway I’ve gone through many changes … I quit smoking 14 months ago, I gained about 15 lbs, I lost about 5 and have 10 more to go. I joined the gym but time & money have become an issue so the gym is out of the question. I have no extra time at the end of the day so I have to make it in the morning. After this morning’s workout I’m sure my downstairs neighbor just loves me as much as we love “Lance Armstrong” upstairs … a joke one of my kids said and it’s stuck … we do have high regards of our neighbor and it’s said with affection & respect honestly. Anyway the T25, after some work seemed possible – 25 minutes a day – Monday thru Friday … I think I can do this, if I want to get back in shape I have to do this, I have no choices. I’m afraid to see whats in store for tomorrow because my darn legs hurt so bad today but its that good kind of pain that says you worked hard … not the damn it I am injured and it sucks pain …. 2 very different things. I’m walking a little funny but that’s ok. I worked hard and I hope I stick with it and will see the results …. the big question and I hope I have the answer is if I have the motivation to do this myself … we will see … getting up at 5 isn’t fun but it’s only 30 minutes earlier than usual … what’s 30 minutes …. tomorrow is another day, it’s a speed workout – I think it hurts just thinking about it but that’s okay if I can stick with it and see results … I have hope and faith …. I am motivated.

On a different note – talk about ironic … I am working for the magazine again …. started about 3 weeks ago. We have this new client that nothing has gone right. The switchover from the previous person to me has had its problems. I’ve had to learn a lot of new things very fast – sometimes not fast enough. The previous person deleted things, changed things and I don’t even know what so I stepped into a hornets nest … and this client …. from day one we have done nothing right … from a flash banner ad they wanted set to 3 sec intervals – I did that but it was too slow … I went down to 1 which looked good to me …. but no … finally 4 tries later I got it right …. then 2 magazines & 2 newsletters – 4 different ads, the right ones didn’t go to the right places, ooops, and worst …. newsletter goes out today their ad links to the WRONG web site …. 2,500+ newsletters and somehow I (yes ME) messed up and it linked to a horse show web site …. so I fixed it and sent out the newsletter to all 2,500 (yikes) people (still waiting to get that feed back) … Thank goodness for technical difficulties because the 2nd newsletter (if you ask us) was a GLITCH but it does link our client to the right place in case anyone noticed … and on that note I think I better get some sleep – 3 jobs these days, long days …. but I can say I’m making my way … and that’s all she wrote ….

Well maybe not –

Day 2 … a little easier, my calves were killing me but thank goodness in between the intensity there were stretches and that helped so much. I wasn’t walking like I just finished a marathon … I’m on a roll …

 

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Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving ….

It’s been so easy lately to lose perspective and get lost in all the problems, losses and uncertainty but with all the reminders of “giving thanks” and holiday spirit, I have taken a step back to see the forest through the trees …

G. B. Stern
Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.

We choose our attitude and many of our thoughts – we have the power to dwell on the good or the bad, it’s our choice, its the difference between an optimist and a pessimist  … and the we have, well they evoke emotion, which initially we may have no control over, however what we do with those emotions, how we respond are again completely within our control. No one makes you do anything (excluding threats or coercion) … you have choices …

I am thankful for many things:

Albert Schweitzer
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

… my family: parents, sister, kids and my wonderful granddaughter who never ceases to bring me joy or melt my heart with one of her smiles or hugs; Steve who has never once let me down – a diamond in the rough and a major pain in the ass on occasion (like I’m so perfect – NOT) but my best friend and one of the very few people in my life that I can count on to keep his word and means what he says and (usually) says what he means … Gail & Abby, 2 true friends, my “adopted” family who have always shown me generosity and kindness and I love them like true family. And my friends: Eleanor, Sue, Marsha, Karen, Stacy – they have listened to me when no one else would and given me a shoulder to cry on when I occasionally lost my ability to hold it together. My sister, who has provided me the opportunity to work for the magazine again and get paid this time … the extra income is making a difference and I’m finally making ends meet again … Between my full time job (yes which I am thankful for too), a few hours overtime, the magazine, and my web design & photography on the side, and of course my jewelry parties – I don’t get a lot of sleep, my time is limited and almost always accounted for, but I have a roof over my head, heat in my drafty apartment, and the necessities … all good stuff … I’m also thankful for Ronny and COPE and the support I have found in helping to deal with my son’s addiction … It is finally sinking in my head that I cannot fix or help everyone, even my own son … they have to want to help themselves first … then all you can do is be there to support them and continue to love them. This has been my biggest and most difficult lesson … it has taken its toll on me and I have paid the price. I’ve lost a lot – mostly material things that of course can never be replaced, but I can live without but it’s the things inside me – they will never be the same  … I will never be the same. I’ve just about lost hope that it will change but I hold on to it by a thread, maybe this time will be different. Maybe … I’ve lost friends too … not because of any event or falling out but simply because I’ve reached a point of realizing, not just with my son but with my friends too … sometimes I’ve tried too hard, to hold a friendship together, to be there, to be accepting, to understanding and in that process I’ve been taken for granted and I kept those feelings inside and to myself … I accepted it and marched on always feeling a little hurt and disappointed … then one day I made the decision – out of self preservation – I will reciprocate the effort that is given towards me. I am tired of disappointment and hurt.  A lot of people have faded away and disappeared … I’m okay with that because the few who have stuck around have shown me the true meaning of our friendship … no names are necessary as my friends know who they are … I have this way of never letting them forget … often to their dismay but they like me anyway despite my sentimentalism.

Kahlil Gibran
I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.

Of my friends that have parted to go their own way … I have many memories. I’m sad that some are gone but they are thought of – sometimes often … but life is as it is … and nothing last’s forever … and I am very careful these days what I choose to hold onto.

And in the end …  I am thankful for who I am and who I’ve become … I can honestly say the people, my friends,  in my life I accept for who and what they are – in their flaws & imperfections – I wouldn’t change a thing about them … and those I have chosen to be part of my life accept me. They have watched me struggle through some days losing faith in everything and everyone and they’ve been there – they know my battles and see through the smiles and facade I put up to face the day, they let me cry, they know they can’t change or fix my problems (I can’t even do that) but they remind me I’m not alone … and through it all – they remain … my friends and for that, I am most thankful.  I must admit though, if I had the power to change anything in my life – there is ONE thing that I would change … it’s that one moment when my son made the choice the particular choice that set this whole addiction into motion – I would change that.

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

I have a lot to be thankful for and despite the difficulties and the need to sometimes remind myself it could be worse, I am blessed with some exceptional friends, family, and many wonderful memories and experiences. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! And that’s all she wrote …

 

A new site I’m working on – still in development stages: http://www.currysgroomingshop.com/

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Words to Live By …

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

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The path we walk …. alone

My first online jewelry party event on FaceBook has turned into a success – I sold 40 pieces of jewelry and the party still has another day – and in lieu of hostess gifts $1 from each piece is getting donated to the Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services in memory of my nephew Kyle who committed suicide 5 years ago.

Kyle Kubachka suffered from depression but for unknown reasons did not want to share his feelings of pain and turmoil with his friends or family. On Nov 22, 2008 he took his own life at the tender age of 19. His devastated family turned to Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services for help, who provided “Survivors After Suicide” counseling. The support proved invaluable in their recovery process, for which they are grateful. Every year they donate to Didi Hirsch in the hopes that the organization’s suicide prevention efforts with help other families avoid the horror they’ve had to endure after the loss of their loving son.

Sadly everyone thinks it couldn’t or wouldn’t happen to me but it could …. A child couldn’t have been loved more than Kyle – he was his mother’s “minnie me” and they had a very close relationship. Despite the love of our parents or close friends we walk alone on the path of our lives and its in our own hands to see and accept the support, love and comfort of those around us … sometimes it just isn’t enough … and choices are made …. bad choices … some are final … like the choice Kyle made … others, well … the finality is dragged out and usually not so obvious or dramatic, if that’s the right word … the spiral into drugs and addiction … the end result is the same … families are destroyed and nothing is ever the same … I cannot imagine losing my child to suicide – so many things left unsaid and unfinished … an unfinished life that as a mom you so clearly envisioned as you watched your child reach each milestone – then suddenly its gone … I can’t imagine but I have my own demons as I watch my own child struggle with addiction … it’s not a pretty path and it’s changing me … sadness starts to replace the hope and faith that “this is the last time” – that there won’t be another slip – that this is the time it’s really going to change –

An excerpt from a former addict: The devil is staring back at me inside a lifeless form, living in a distorted reality, my heart is broken and torn, I can’t keep my head above water, drowning beneath crushed pills, each time I try to quit it gets harder, my search goes unfulfilled for cheap thrills, boredom sets in cause I lost my friends … if I can’t put it down first, I’ll be spreading my wings in the clouds above.

I saw this kid speak – 7 years clean but he says it like it is … most aren’t so lucky …. I know a lot more today then I ever thought I would about this path. I walk alone too … many are around me – they share the same and similar stories but we are each alone on the road. We make our mistakes trying to help our kids, to do what’s right, to be the parent we thought we were and hoped to be and everyday a piece of your heart is torn out, you struggle with disappointment, anger, helplessness and love … love for the child that used to adore you and take time outs … but something went wrong … I don’t know where … I search in myself all the time looking for answers … only my son has the answer … maybe I can help him find it … I will keep trying …

So just remember, it could happen to anyone … anywhere …. and go easy on those around you – you don’t always known the demons shadowing them on their lonely path … from a mother or father suffering a great loss or painful heartbreak to the boy or girl, man or woman contemplating suicide or another excuse to give in to their addiction …. you never know … and so many people these days just don’t care … they see what they see through their own rose-colored glasses …. but you never know.

 

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Save the date: Nov 12th

In Memory of Kyle:

 

November 12th is the start of my online jewelry “party” with $1 from every sale going to Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services in memory of Kyle Kubachka. Kyle’s mom is my best friend, a sister of sorts and coming up in November it will be 5 years since Kyle committed suicide. He is greatly missed and never forgotten. For more information view my event details. Please share as this is a public event.

Like my page on Facebook

Kyle over the years

Welcome to my online Paparazzi Jewelry Party – starting Tuesday, November 12th at 7pm –  running until Monday, November 18th, I will be hosting an online $5 jewelry and accessory party. This is a public event so anyone and everyone is welcome!

Each day for the length of the party – a select number of pieces of jewelry will be posted between 7-8pm – if you see a piece you like – comment with SOLD and it’s yours – you can always check back on the previous days – any without the comment SOLD will be available for the length of the party.

This party has great meaning to me as $1 from each sale will be donated to Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services (www.didihirsch.org) in memory of my “nephew” Kyle.

Kyle

Kyle Kubachka suffered from depression but for unknown reasons did not want to share his feelings of pain and turmoil with his friends or family. On Nov 22, 2008 he took his own life at the tender age of 19. His devastated family turned to Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services for help, who provided “Survivors After Suicide” counseling. The support proved invaluable in their recovery process, for which they are grateful. Every year they donate to Didi Hirsch in the hopes that the organization’s suicide prevention efforts with help other families avoid the horror they’ve had to endure after the loss of their loving son.

At the close of the party – a donation will be made to Team Sunflower Seeds http://events.didihirsch.org/site/TR/Events/General?team_id=3500&pg=team&fr_id=1060.

More on Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services:
Every 15 minutes, someone loses their life by suicide in the United States. In addition, for every suicide, it is estimated there are 25 suicide attempts. Many individuals — maybe even your loved one, friend, neighbor, or colleague — suffer from severe emotional pain in silence. In that moment when a person in

Earn some extra income for the holidays

crisis needs someone to listen and respond, Didi Hirsch’s Suicide Prevention Center located in Los Angeles County is there to help. In fact, more than 40,000 US women, men and young people turned to its 24-hour Crisis Line last year.

In addition to our crisis line, the Suicide Prevention Center offers a bereavement program for those who have lost a loved one to suicide, outreach to the community, and an emergency response team that works with local police to provide immediate counseling at the scene of a suicide. They also conduct suicide prevention awareness and education to the community.

 

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October 24

I’ve started riding my bike again – not realizing just how much I missed being out in the great outdoors of Massasoit with the smell of leaves and although I prefer the heat of summer there is something very energizing about the crisp fall air … I’m looking forward to more weekend rides …

We all have our demons – some run deeper and quieter than others – remember to think twice in your actions and words when dealing with others – we walk in our own shoes alone and you never have any idea of the good or harm that may result from your choice of words or actions …. it could make all the difference … just saying. I read this today …

Living daily with a loved one who suffers from addiction

It can be compared to walking on a mine field. When we are able to motivate someone to treatment we get a break. We can sleep again, eat again, smile again carefully stepping over the mines in the hopes we don’t step on one that blows us and our family apart again.

The anxiety hightens when they say they are “cured” and ready to come home, go back to work, be who they once were.
We never know when that magical day will come, when or if  they get that one year chip, we hang on every word of those who have achieved this and we pray inside that this, will one day be our son or daughter up there celebrating. We ask ourselves “WHY CAN’T THAT BE MY KID”

Then we may hear that young person fell back to the abyss…….the dreaded word…….”RELAPSE”

Relapse can happen over and over BUT there is still HOPE. It’s the uncertainty that’s a killer.

When our loved one relapses, the family falls with them. The siblings suffer terribly. To be a sibling it’s a double edged sword. They are losing their brother or sister AND they are losing their parents.

A parent can be physically sitting somewhere to watch a beloved child play football or soccer, but their mind is somewhere else thinking of the “lost one”. Will the call come today that there has been an overdose? Will they leave treatment and hit the streets? Parents start to wonder about the funeral.

Grief, this is grief. For the entire family.

Then something might click, that son or daughter may hear the magical word somewhere to encourage them to try again and recovery begins to be in their sight.

You don’t have to live this alone, this is more common than the average person thinks. We have a big problem in this country and it’s Opiates.

Until the beast behind this madness is slowed, it will just continue to sit on top of us plucking out one life at a time and destroying families.

How can we get stronger? PEER SUPPORT, there is nothing more assuring than a hand sitting on your shoulder and a welcoming smile from someone that can tell you “I have been there” “there is hope” “you are not alone”

that is Learn to Cope, when we get the strength from each other, we survive. No matter where our loved ones addiction takes them, we will survive and we will be there for each other………

I am grateful for all my kids health today.

We know many who have found recovery and live good productive lives today and yes sadly we know many who have lost their child.

Just know, no matter what we will survive, we have to. Our other siblings need us, the world needs us.

So for “today” take care of you, and thank you for taking care of me…….

Joanne Peterson

 

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Interesting ….

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama’s socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama’s plan”.. All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A…. (substituting grades for dollars – something closer to home and more readily understood by all). After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on)

These are possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

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Just more stuff …

I was not made to be able to handle everything that life throws at me because I do get upset when I am in terrible situations. I was not made to be happy and smiling all the time because I do cry when I am emotionally worked up. I do get mad at people who stab me in the back. I also hurt when my very own friends do things that break my heart. I am not supposed to be standing tall everyday because I do stumble and fall. But YES when I am done with all this I do learn lessons from the punches that are thrown at me each day.They challenge me and help me to become emotionally strong and I am ready to face it all with a brave heart. So I can proudly say that I am perfect the way I am and I refuse to change anything about me…. Aarti Khurana

 

It’s very easy to underestimate the human capacity to harm – not only each other but pretty much anything … there is also great capacity to do good but the good often remains unrecognized.  Hope – it’s the one “thing” that really makes all “things” bearable … hope of any kind – it’s that tiny little light in the darkness that draws a person forward through the worst of times … destroy “hope” and you’ve pretty much destroyed the person, it’s really that simple and that sad. It’s pretty horrible to think people can do this to each other and do it to people they care about but it happens all the time … and I try to understand … I may not be able to make “everyone” happy but I try hardest to make no one unhappy – I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings and I recognize acts of kindness and generosity even in the small things – like a child sharing a bite of food – it may seem like a small thing but imagine – in a children’s world where “mine” is the word of the day – an act of sharing is one of the most generous and genuine gifts a child is capable of giving – so many of the most genuine and heartfelt gifts are ignored or rejected with absolutely no thought – not from cruelty but ignorance but equally as bad – ignorance is not an acceptable excuse. And the inverse – betrayal of trust – the damage that this can do to someone – well, you may never actually “see” it but we do not have to see everything to believe or know it’s real. It breaks the spirit – can you really see a broken spirit? Maybe … we cannot live our lives in fear of “treading” on the hearts of everyone, however we can live our lives with compassion and understanding towards others – knowing we are only seeing what someone wants us to see but never really seeing the full impact of our actions. And sometimes we can’t help but hurt others – but we can do it with care …

There are just some things I will never understand no matter how hard I try – and the bad in people is one –

And on a different note – in the “cloning wars” or really the legal battle for registration of clones in the American Quarter Horse Association – the clones have won.  I completely disagree with the decision based on my limited knowledge – I do not see where or why the Court has authority to decide the rules and regulations of a voluntary private association – further the associations’ members voted against allowing clones to be registered, yet the Court ruled this violated antitrust laws and therefore they have ordered the

AQHA to change their rules – so beyond the clone issue itself which is very interesting, the right of the Court to intervene in the issue is just as interesting

with significant implications for all associations. More will be coming … and that’s all there was …

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